Ready for a Change
Do you remember the moment you fell in love? Maybe it was waking up beside your lover one morning, the light streaming through their window; your bodies entwined beneath the blankets and you couldn’t bring yourself to leave their side. Will feel the same as last time? Will your heart swell when you hear their name; see their smile? I think when I was younger I equated love with that heart palpitating, head frenzy excitement, but as I’ve gotten older I believe love is something that’s supposed to calm you down; be steady & grounding. There’s still feelings of sleepy mornings and their smell on your skin but love is secure and safe.
Nostalgia
Whenever I play “Nostalgia” I recall Christine Pedersen’s college graduation party. There was a huge circle of us surrounding a roaring bonfire in her backyard and we played all the songs we used to sing freshman year. Songs from Once in the stairwell beside the cafeteria, late night jams in the practice rooms, new songs we wrote in the dorms; it brought back memories of who we used to be but also reminded me of how much we’d grown. Life becomes quite different after graduation, but we’ll always have our music and our memories.
These Moments
The story of “These Moments” is self-explanatory. For three years on my birthday my friends & I would have a huge celebration late into the night. A handful of us would go down to my beach in the dark and swim in the Great Peconic Bay (this entourage was typically led by Ryan McAndrews). I’m a very anxious person and often dwell on the consequences and worst-case scenarios but being with the people I love, I felt fearless and unafraid. And while it is best to make educated decisions, I think it’s also important to find joy in the moment. “And that’s the beauty of it all; we get caught up in these moments. Living too much to worry, to wonder, if we’re doing it wrong.”
Still See Stars
I wrote this for a friend who was going through a difficult time and I didn’t know how to be there for them. I’m learning that showing up for others doesn’t necessarily mean finding solutions or fixing all their problems. Sometimes it just means sitting with them in the quiet, listening to what they have to share, and validating what they’re experiencing. I also wanted to tell this person I care about that no matter what happens I will support you and no matter how dark things may seem, you’ll always see the light of the stars overhead. “Remember, I still see the stars.”
Wandering State of Mind
“Wandering State of Mind” is the result of spending two years living 20 minutes away from all major highways. It’s monotonous driving the same roads every day; knowing when I hit a certain part of the expressway, I still have so much more to go before I am home. I wrote this song for a songwriting circle. I met up with Anne Crean and Jacob Derwin. We looked up the address but ended up in the wrong borough. Instead of driving an hour to Manhattan we treated ourselves to dinner and shared the songs with each other in Jacob’s living room.
With Me
My nana passed away in February 2019. I’ve never lost someone so close to me before. We lived together in Laurel for 20 years, essentially my whole life. It all happened so quickly. I started writing “With Me” when she was in the hospital. She had undergone a severe stroke and didn’t respond to many things, but I cherish the moments I played music with her. One night she turned the pages of my music binder when I placed it in her lap and played beside her. “I love you, lady, and I know that you know. No matter what the day brings you’re with me wherever I go.”